First off, I was talking to my husband today and I told him the most exciting part (and the most surreal!) of this journey is when I put on clothes in the morning and see what fits. I hoped and prayed that this surgery would help me lose weight and regain my health and physical fitness but deep down inside I wasn’t sure it would work for me. I know the statistics and I know, initially, you HAVE to lose weight because of calorie consumption, yada, yada, yada… but in my heart of hearts I was afraid I would be the one it doesn’t work for. I would lose maybe 20-30 lbs and it would stall and end. I have been very good with my diet and I exercise every single day but I just never had the faith. However, even when the scale doesn’t move I noticed my clothes fit different every day! Even the pants I could barely squeeze into before, and it wasn’t pretty, are now sporting a saggy butt. Still, I have my doubts so instead of buying new pants I bought a belt. Just in case my weight loss stops here, you know?!? Don’t get me wrong, I’m doing everything right and, mentally, even if I DID stop losing weight now I would be 100% content with the weight loss and improvement of my health. But I really do have more to lose (I should be around 160) and I’m going to continue to hope and pray that my body gets the memo that it needs to keep going.
Second, I’m embarrassed when people ask me if I’ve lost weight! I am not someone who likes being in the center of attention. I feel like it’s an invasion of privacy. However, most people are curious and good natured about something like weight loss so I answer simply and move on. No one, so far, has interrogated me about my methods. I’m extremely grateful for this small blessing and hope it continues. I passed the 50lb weight loss mark this week and I’m coming up quick to my halfway mark of 224! I feel like the little blue engine… “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…”
Love and God’s blessings,