There are lots of posts, forums, You Tube, etc., about the mood swings that come with this, or really any major, surgery. I want to write down my experience for my own posterity, not because it’s something new or different. Most likely, if you’ve read a couple other peoples then mine isn’t much different. So, first the history:
1.) I have anxieties and occasional depression. I get post-partum depression with each baby I have. I was on Zoloft for 8-10 years and after that I was on Deplin to keep my depression under control. I am currently on nothing.
2.) I believe in God and He created us fearfully and wonderfully. We, the human race, are a miracle and most beloved.
Why is this important? Because when you hate yourself, and others around you, you need to be reminded of what you truly believe! I know I have a history of depression and anxieties and anger at myself and others comes out of that. I also know God loves me anyway. There is peace in that! When I am in a rage because I am scared or angry because I can’t force my body to do what I want it to do then it helps refocus me to remember that even if I can’t love myself, God does.
I knew going into surgery, as with me and ALL surgery, there would be emotional fallout afterwards. It’s my disfunctional body reminding me I’m human. It isn’t an excuse for bad behaviour. It’s not an excuse to yell at others and sit in my own funk. But it is important to recognize who is in control when I can’t be. The mood swings will pass as my body settles into a pattern. I’m sensitive to the prednisone I’m currently taking for my asthma and poison ivy and it’s contributing greatly to the anger issues. I’m also sensitive to antibiotics which I am taking post-surgery. I’m also sensitive to the need to be “normal” again. All three things swirling together make a tornado of emotional upheaval that would give a “normal” person moments of insanity! Be patient and remember God is actually in control, not me.
Love and God’s blessings,