Yesterday was the first day on the required pre-op diet and I was doing so excellently.. until I sabotaged myself! Let me explain how: yesterday was the first time my husband went out of town without me and I totally fell into all my bad habits. You see I not only use food as a reward but also as a blanket for comfort. When my beloved husband leaves town I use the food as a way to block out the fact that he’s not here. I know he believes I buy the junk as a type of breaking out of his control but that’s so far away from the truth. I love him so much that I use the food as a placebo for him! AND I have taught this to my kids as well. So when my husband leaves town, for any reason, the kids and I get junk food to console ourselves. I thought since I was doing so well with my “practice” pre-op diet (I’ve been doing it since April 18th) then I would just keep on keeping on. Instead, I gave in to the kids demands to keep up the junk food practice and, of course, with all my most favorite junk foods around I was no where near strong enough to say no. Not only that but I let my old binge feelings get the best of me and I completely lost it. So, how bad was the damage? Bad! Full disclosure means I have to confess to 6 ice cream sandwiches, 1 whole small pizza (3 servings), 3 Nutty bars, and a piece of chocolate creme pie.. all consumed between 4-8pm!
However, I am NOT giving up this time. So I screwed up last night… today is a new day and I can, must, do better. I believe I can and so I will. This is new and uncharted territory with me, this resolve, but I hope it sticks! Pray for me, though, because my husband is gone till Sunday night and right now it is the wee hours of Saturday morning and there’s still junk food in the house…
Love and God’s blessings,