Why not lose weight with will power?

How many times has an overweight person put out feelers for bariatric surgery and heard these condescending words?  Duh!  Surgery was not my first choice!  But 20+ years of failed diet and exercise programs have left me with nothing else to try.  I wish I had known sooner that research shows only 1 out of 124 obese women attain normal weight without surgery.

My history of weight struggles…

1992 -1st diet ever, I just stopped eating.  My weight was around 140 and I was told by my softball coach I was too fat to run the bases quickly enough.  I ate less publicly but began to binge in secret.

1994 – Pregnancy.  I ate anything not tied down. I assumed I would lose it all after the baby was born. Starting weight was about 150, ending weight 200 lbs (down from 220 at 9 months preg.).

1995 – Atkins diet.  Lost 10 lbs before I got sick from all the grease. Gained it back in one week. I would go on to try this diet at least 3 more times with the same result.

1999 – I started running 5 miles a day and ate reasonably well though continued to binge eat in private.  I went from 200 to 175!  But I could not maintain the good habits once I started my first “real” job while still in college full time and a single parent.

2001 to 2005 – Various pills, online support groups, hypnosis, fad diets.  My weight only ever budged 10-15 lbs and ALWAYS came back as soon as I stopped.

2006 – Pregnancy.  Up the “required” 20 lbs, then down 10 for a net gain of 10. Weight now hovered around 210lbs.

2009 to 2016 – Gaining about 20 pounds with every pregnancy.  Total today is 285.

2009 , 2012 – Slim fast shakes.  Lost 10-15 but gained it back.

2011 – No sugar diet.  The weight is taking its toll.  Chronic fatigue sets in.   An endocronoligist said my adrenal gland was not producing sufficient hormones. So I cut out all sugars for 4 months.  Felt better for a few weeks but then back to my exhausted “normal.”  Only lost 1 lb. Doc said maybe losing weight would help.

2012 to 2016 – Cooking mostly from scratch.  No processed foods.  Limited sugar.  Whole wheat.  More veggies.  Using things like quinoa. Not losing weight.  Not gaining energy.  Joints beginning to hurt, especially getting out of bed in the morning.

2013 –  Watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and tried juicing. I lost 20 lbs in one month but I couldn’t tolerate it after that. No matter what recipe I try, it just makes me gag now.

2014 – CPAP machine.  Chronic fatigue again.  I would sleep for 14 hours, get up to take care of kids for 3 hours and then collapse on the bed again.  Couldn’t keep my eyes open. My husband gave me a week off from the kids to just sleep at the inlaws.’ That helped but a week afterwards I again just couldn’t function for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time.  Went to a couple sleep studies and was diagnosed with sleep apnea.  The idea was that a CPAP machine would ensure I’m getting enough oxygen to feel rested.  It didn’t help.  Doc said maybe losing weight would help.  I’m sensing a theme.

2014 – Started 20 minute runs each morning on the Gazelle with my husband.  But soon developed plantar fasciitis.  Very painful.  Had to quit running. Also was diagnosed with high cholesterol.  PCP said my weight will cause diabetes if I don’t get it into check.

2014 – Received a Fitbit One for my birthday.  I don’t exercise anymore but I still get in about 5,000 steps on an average day. I consume roughly 2,500 calories a day.  By all accounts I should lose weight.  But for me, “calories in, calories out,” is not true.

2015 – Read the book, Brain over Binge, and it helped me stop my binge eating disorder, successfully, forever!

2015 – Began the Daniel Plan “diet” with a group of ladies I love and adore.  I didn’t lose weight but I got off the Zoloft (anti-depressant medication) that I had been on since 2006.  That in itself gave me an energy boost for a few weeks.  But I need more energy permanently, and I need the joint pain to go away.

2015 – I decided on sleeve surgery and told my PCP.  He was very encouraging.  He agreed wholeheartedly to provide nutrition monitoring for me afterwards.  I just have to finish up with the latest pregnancy first.

2015 – Off Zoloft now but feeling anxious in my second trimester, my OB suggested Deplin (L-methylfolate).  WOW! What a HUGE blessing!  All of my energy is back.  I’m almost like a normal person again.  Well, a normal 285 lbs person anyway.  I still have pain in my joints and still can’t keep up with the kids, among other things.  (See my goals).

2016 – In addition to joint pain, my back is sore when I get up in the morning.  This despite a Select Comfort mattress.  Also, my left leg feels especially weak.  I’m falling apart.  Sleeve surgery is scheduled for May 12.  Hope, excitement…

Love and God’s blessings,


2 thoughts on “Why not lose weight with will power?

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